So many experiences in the last couple of years that were uncomfortable, were directly related to my relationship with myself. I have learned that whatever I see in another is a reflection of a part of me in that moment. It has definitely been a journey to understanding my feelings and having compassion for myself.
Too much in life I think people, myself included, rely on external sources for validation or self worth. The reality of that situation is that no one will ever truly be able to judge you for they are not you and cannot see all of the lessons your soul has learned. Whether seeking approval from peers, partners, parents, or society on a grander scale, I really have to say that it is a lost cause. I have often fallen into the trap of resentment and severe anger towards people and situations because I felt they were not perceiving me as I really am. Or even appreciating me or my blossoming purpose due to closed mindedness and lack of understanding. RESEARCH. The kicker is that I would adopt their beliefs or feelings until I could shake myself out of it and realize that the only approval I need is from within.
The further I go along on my path of self love I truly realize that none of it matters. The more time that I spend working on myself and finding the courage to be myself fully, the less I care about what others think. The tough part is that sometimes the people who don't understand or judge are family or close friends. At times I have to remind myself that my rapid changes seem even more rapid to people who are not with me all of the time or in my head space/frequency bracket.
People generally have good intentions when they begin to project their own fears and lack of understanding or faith at me. Everyone has an opinion and everyone has advice. Sometimes it is just so worth it so say You know what? Screw that! I don't need to listen to anything anyone else says...and begin to TRUST THE WISDOM WITHIN.
Recently I had a long conversation with a friend about seeing the darkness in people, their bad intentions. This really stumped me and shook me out of my - everyone is good inside truly- head space. I began to question my own "judgement" of character in people. The conversation bothered me for days until I came to the conclusion that for one : I trust myself fully , I am awake and aware. And two: All that we see in others is a reflection of ourselves. I realized that this was not -MY- reflection. While I am aware of the fact that everybody has an Ego and the struggle that comes with that, I am also privy to the fact that having inner struggles with feelings and emotions is NOT the test of someone's character. The true test and success is in what the Soul CHOOSES to do with those feelings and emotions.
I am blessed to have friends and family that challenge me to find my own truth and feelings and not to rely on what anyone else says. I truly feel thankful for that specific lesson because it has shifted my relationship to any kind of experience like that. It is not always easy to stay true to my own beliefs when others challenge them. The conclusion I came to is that, the joy, freedom, and expansion that comes as a result of staying true to myself is so worth it. Lesson learned. Next. Hahaha..joking.People are always going to have their own ideas about how you live your life. People are always going to be projecting their shit onto you until they learn to deal with their own issues and you learn to laugh it off a little. I truly love and appreciate all of the challenges that have come my way these last few months, as they have shown me that I am my own source of infinite wisdom. What others do, think, say, or feel is not my concern. Other's opinions say more about themselves then they do about you so just relax a little into your crazy, beautiful, wonderful self. And so will I. ^_^
Break free & Just Be
Onyx Marigold
Daughter of Isis
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